To you i'm nothing. Now i know so much this 2 year plus relationship means nothing to you.You kept ask me to change change change. I did but it seems like you are not satisfied. I'm tearing while i'm writing this post, i feel that there's no sparks in life. I believe the hurt you did to me, i have bear with it sometimes i will hide under my blanket and cry. I teared when i was watching the NDP preview that day when we need to take the pledge because i saw something i'm so envy about. How i wish to have a very simple relationship like them. The love for eachother is clearly to be seen, sometimes i even envy those couple that are not very good in looking. At least they are smiling, at least i can see the focus they gave eachother.
***

At times you ignored me and let me suffered the process. Its very painful, and lonely. I try to controlled myself telling myself. I can do it, but i cant. I'm very soft hearted but cant you feel i'm really trying my very best to be a good gf. Whatever step i go, or things i do . I will spare a thought for you, hoping you will be happy. I love the way we laugh and make fun of each other but isit gonna end just like that.

***

or right at this moment?

**
I really do not know. I'm very sad right now but i cannot do anything . I hate myself, hate everything about me. I'm being too naive thinking there will be miracle. Do whatever you want to do , i've lose my soul from today onwards.


i'm dead